One day at a time. It’s been easy to get overwhelmed by this illness, and just think about how big things are. How on earth can I possibly go back to work? How can I go back and give them my best when I hardly feel like I can get out of bed? One day at a time, an Aunt of mine consistently reminds me. One day at a time is how to make it through. There are a lot of big things out there, and time is something that ticks forward constantly, but if you take things one day at a time it gets a whole lot more reasonable.
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.” — Henry Ford
I guess I’m really good about seeing obstacles, as many people are. My father recently brought up this word “ruminate” to describe to me what he saw me doing, and I think it’s a very fitting word. He said his father did it a lot too, so I come by it honestly. I think that’s just what I have to think more of, when I start getting stuck inside my own head — the other people around. There are plenty of other people, like my grandfather, who know exactly what it’s like to get stuck ruminating. And there are plenty of other people, like my dad or aunt, who are there to reach out a hand and help me pull my way through the sea of problems I’m adrift in.
Reaching out to people is a wonderful way to find yourself in all kinds of different worlds. This evening my partner and I were exploring a little downtown area and on a whim stuck our heads into one of the very lavish art galleries. We were dressed well enough for once, and as we walked past the docent I turned back and asked, “are these all local artists?”
“Oh, no!” He said, getting up from his desk. He then proceeded to give us an enlivened 20-minute tour of his art gallery, giving us all kinds of details on how the bronze statues were made or how the paint was slathered on using special knives for some of the paintings, or how the artists came up with their ideas — one of them he was particularly impressed about because he just painted from memory scenes of his life in England.
Had I not turned around and asked about whether the artists were local or not — which I really didn’t care about — we would never have been privy to this wonderful little tour.
The best way to break things down is to break them up. Just sending a little text message to my aunt is a wonderful way to get a few cheery words in response. Just leaving my desk and having a quick chat in the kitchen is an amazing way to get some perspective on my day at work, and learn a bit about a coworker. Big things aren’t so big if we aren’t holding them alone.
I got really good at DDR practicing with a group of ~5-6 friends