Belonging when decisions are made

How do we ever get ahead? It’s so easy to make the wrong decision so much of the time. I know I make bad decisions quite often. There’s a card game, “Hand and Foot,” that I’ve been playing a lot of this visit, and so much of it comes down to, say, whether you decide to complete a “book” on one turn or try to hold out for something better, just because someone can end the hand with very little warning. I feel like a lot of things come down to similar decisions. When do you ask your boss for those days of working from home? When do you ask the airline to change your flight?

The place I’m staying is a world away from the Bay Area I’ll be flying back to in a few days. Nobody even uses direct deposit here! A Taco Bell opened here a few weeks back, and it was huge excitement for my family. We went and got Taco Bell today, and my grandmother was pretty impressed with the twelve tacos deal.

An uncle showed up by surprise today! Nobody expected him, not even the aunt hosting us. He seemed pretty tickled to have surprised everyone. My aunt said the look on my face was priceless when I turned around and saw him. It makes me more glad I changed my flight; I would have only gotten to see him for an afternoon had I not. So I guess this is a case where I made a good decision.

I’m getting good at loading and unloading my grandmother’s walker from the car. I try to help out; it makes me feel like a part of things, when I can contribute. Maybe being part of things is insurance against making bad decisions. I know when I feel like I’m a part of things I don’t stress so much about whether I did something exactly right, because it’s easier to believe things will be okay anyway. Maybe that’s why feeling alone is so dangerous; everything is more stressful.

I feel so much a part of things right now it’s hard to believe. It’s like floating in a big warm hug.

Off on a short walk around town